Posted by: Tess (Piyadassi) | March 18, 2011

Surrender

The Wicked Witch of the West was so adamant in her demand that Dorothy surrender she wrote it in the sky for everyone in Oz to see. Sometimes I think I need that kind of public admonition to really get the two-by-four messages banging me between my eyebrows.

For well on a month or so I’ve been feeling more than a bit anxious concerning the lack of work and money in my life (see previous post). I know I’m not the only person struggling with these earthly challenges of late. The financial meltdown which has seeped across North America and around the world has taken a vast toll on the lives of millions of people.

My meditation practice has become a huge fuzzy blanket of peace when anxiety starts to roar in my chest. When I think of how I’ve raged against the machine of my mind for decades I marvel at the simple ease of a breath taking me to a place of serenity, like a light switch being turned off and shutting down the crazy-making circus of my thoughts.  If I could only make that one last clown go away, the one that tells me I’m not doing enough, not worried enough, not worthy enough to be provided for by life.

One day a couple of weeks ago while I was sitting on my pillows trying to watch my breath through the whirl of my mind merry-go-round I decided to ask for help. I’m not much for prayer, not because I don’t believe in someone or thing out there to hear me, but because I forget to ask. Maybe that comes from living alone most of my life and knowing I’m the one who’ll be doing the dishes, taking out the garbage and buying the groceries. I was the one who made things happen.  I have a dear friend who asks for help all the time from God, spirit, the universe, what you want to call “It”, and she gets answers. Real I-heard-that answers. I decided to give it a try.

What I got was a one word response.

“Write.”

Really?

“Yes. Just write.”

Yeah, but…

“Trust me on this one.”

I did write a bit that day, starting a new short story, and I felt amazingly better afterwards. But then, as is my predilection, I forgot. Until the message kept vibrating in me like a song you can’t get out of your head. The prompting of my friend to start another blog (see previous post) and the depression filtering into my body’s core were the final clinchers.

Less than a half hour after posting my first piece to this blog I received an email from an employer I had interviewed with several months ago. A new job had opened up. Would I be interested in coming in to chat about it?

When I read that message I felt a wave of euphoria sweep over me. I lifted my head skyward, closed my eyes and said “thank you.”

Surrender doesn’t need to look like defeat, just as letting go isn’t about losing something. Surrender is about giving ourselves over to what is and what is needed to be done. Is the world any better because I write? Maybe not, but I am.

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Responses

  1. Wow, talk about instant karma! Where can I get some of that? At least the good kind.
    You’re on a roll kid … go for it!

  2. […] an earlier post, I wrote how within a half hour of creating my blog I received an email for a job interview. Well, […]

  3. […] to them. With all their smoke and mirrors, they’re neither good nor bad, just reminders to surrender. Surrender to the suchness of things, without contempt or judgment. Surrender, as Rumi writes, to […]

  4. […] know one thing. When I ask a silent question I usually get an answer back in very short order. It’s a soft voice, clear and precise, and sounds like Emma Thompson from […]

  5. […] to them. With all their smoke and mirrors, they’re neither good nor bad, just reminders to surrender. Surrender to the suchness of things, without contempt or judgment. Surrender, as Rumi writes, to […]


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